i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
