I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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