is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
