I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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