Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
