I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
third nipple confirmed
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
