someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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