Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize