If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
This toilet bowl is my home.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
