I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
