Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
True college students do jello shots in the library
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