Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
