I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
tell me about the eggs
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
