Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
