Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
