Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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