I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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