He kissed a someone with a penis
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
