my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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