she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
