Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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