last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
