ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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