im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
