Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize