I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I am available for nakedness
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
