Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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