Sponge bath it is.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
