check it out our google latitudes are spooning
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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