the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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