I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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