just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he fucked my hip out of place.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
