Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
