I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
this hospital has no fireball
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
