I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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