I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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