I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
