did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
