it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
