Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
someone threw a dead crab at me
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
