Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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