Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
