i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
