So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
how drunk are you?
Several
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
