tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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