You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
