Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So many bounce houses so little time
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
