why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
