I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
