Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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