my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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