you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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