How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
