how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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