One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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