thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
