Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize