i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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