I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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