Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize