I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
